The end of Ramadan is near. I find myself wondering, how will I be after Ramadan? The more relevant question is, how do I want to be after Ramadan?
During the comfort of Ramadan, when the shaitan is in chains, I've found it to be easier...other than the obvious of days without food or drink but that's not a problem for me 22 days in...
Getting back to the rat race, upping my work rate, rushing around, having to think and act fast, moving around town at all times of the day and night, meetings, conversations, the fleeting glances, a smile, opportunity and motive.
Being a non practising muslim for so long I never felt as enriched as I do now. Deen was always in my heart but last night when reading tahajud, my leg never troubled me after the agony earlier. It was a breeze. The sense of peace and satisfaction was really noticeable.
For those that do not know what tahajud is, it's reading 8 rakat namaz at night, in darkness. I'd never done it before and I was really pleased to have done it.
Ramadan is a time when Muslims are working hard at being muslim. The rest of the year is not as intensive. That's why I'm wondering what I'll be like. This is a side of me that I'm really comfortable with, within the safety and shelter of Ramadan.
What happens when normal work resumes is a concern... The thing is, my default setting should be this way of being...being single and unattached has put me in a vulnerable position. That's why marriage is a must for us.
Having the right person to share ones life is also an important issue. I'm no saint, never have been, unlikely I ever will be. I'm a normal human being with flaws and faults like anyone else. I view the world in a way of live and let live, life is too short for petty conflict.
What goes on in trouble spots across the world is where politics and power struggles interfere with daily life. In a world where reason is scarce it's a sound mind that doesn't lose reason.
In a world where power, politics, greed, selfishness and dirty tricks rules the day. A reasonable approach to life is crowded out. Or is it?
The vast majority of decent people be they, Muslim, Christian, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, or other just want to go about their daily lives providing for themselves and their families. It's the madness in the world that doesn't help.
If more reasonable people take a stand and say no. The world will be a better place...or is it too much to ask?
It's okay for me to say this in the comfort and safety of one of the greatest cities on Earth where freedom to be a Muslim or any other faith or not, is the choice we are free to make, and long may it continue.
I feel for the people who are not as fortunate. Having travelled to places where murder because of sectarianism, politics, religion, criminality, and corruption is a daily issue, when stepping out of your door into those risks are real and present. Stepping out for a pint of milk is a different ball game. I don't have that and I have Allah SWT to thank. I'm grateful for all that I am, and all that I have. Yet still I want more. That's just the human instinct!