I've been doing some reading and research into namaz, the Surah's recited and at what times, the frequency and it dawned on my just how much I actually don't know. It's quite daunting. Even down to small details, seven bones being in contact with the floor during sajda, (luckily i do that) not raising ones head from the ground until you've said ala at the end of the third time.
Then I read that there is no excuse for all the Farz namaz I've missed. There are a lot....then I saw the punishments for missing them.
It kind of made me feel a little depressed, yes really, depressed, it's not like I have an excuse, because there is no excuse.
I can only hope that I will be forgiven...it's all I can hope for really. I can ask to be forgiven during the last 10 days and I might have a chance of being forgiven.
When listening to the Quran during prayers, I've come to be reminded just how beautiful it is when recited, it's divine rhythm, rhyming poetry, coupled with the sound which sings to my soul, the peace I feel, the contentment, I really feel kind of gutted, that I have missed it by choice for so long. I clung on to that which I did know, it brought me back to it, I'm grateful for that.
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