Day 5.1

Day 5.1

Just before dawn, before the sun throws light on the new day, I thought I was exhausted, my body was aching, I do need some sleep, but my subconscious began to question me, why am I doing this?

The reason is simple, I'm not ready to die, I've not done enough to earn a place amongst the righteous. Why do I believe in the hereafter, it would be foolish to rely on the word of men/women of science who don't know what is dark matter yet some can state categorically that there is no God. 

I get an innate sense of peace and tranquility from prayer and my conversations with the almighty, even though their one-sided. I know I'm in for a dig or three for my behaviour in the past.  It's highly likely that ill mess up some more yet.  I know who I am, I know I'm not pious all the time, that was the prophets. I'm not a prophet, I won't be granted forgiveness like they were if they'd sinned. 

So it's with a realists head on my shoulders, I know I could've lost it in antiquity. I'm fortunate to live in a place where that doesn't happen.  I'm a flawed individual, I'm with some real deep wounds, although may have healed but the scars remain. They've helped shape me, mould me, they broke me, I got patched up.

I feel really fortunate even now, because I believe there is a higher power above mankind. A supreme being, as described in the books of the prophets. Too much makes sense than not.

Faith is a personal decision, it's not a stick  with which we should be beaten,  where are we, back in the days of the colosseum in Rome. The treaty of Rome didn't stipulate that it was ok to persecute the faiths or their followers.

Science will eventually find the answers, mankind is ingenious, creative, talented, and forever curious. Which are all to be applauded. The thing about faith is exactly that, you either have it or not. Those with faith don't need science to verify that which we already believe to be true. Whilst science continues to discover, I will continue to believe. I won't wait for science to prove it, I won't hold my breath waiting for that to happen either. Suicide is a sin !